Entry 144

The other day upon the stair, I saw a man who wasn't there, he wasn't there again today, I think he's with the CIA.
Unknown


"The Central Intelligence Agency owns everyone of any significance in the major media."
William Colby


The building that housed Germany's leading industrial organization prior to World War II, and for all practical purposes the Third Reich during the war, became CIA European headquarters immediately following the war. The marble decorated I.G. Farben building was intentionally spared from allied bombing runs. It was largely built by the 'Bayer Pharmaceutical' consortium that included the distributors of aspirin and heroin to U.S. markets by the 'Farbenfabriken of Elberfeld Co., 40 Stone Street, New York' according to a 1906 Medical Observer advertisement.
Dr. Leonard Horowitz


The real menace of our Republic is the invisible government which like a giant octopus sprawls its slimy legs over our cities states and nation. At the head is a small group of banking houses generally referred to as 'international bankers.' This little coterie... run our government for their own selfish ends. It operates under cover of a self-created screen...[and] seizes...our executive officers... legislative bodies... schools... courts... newspapers and every agency created for the public protection.
John F. Haylan

Entry 143

He couldn't ad-lib a fart after a baked-bean dinner.
Johhny Carson


I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around, and don't let anybody tell you different.
Kurt Vonnegut


My philosophy of dating is to just fart right away.
Jenny McCarthy

Entry 142

The turtle lives 'twixt plated decks which pratically conceal its sex. I think it clever of the turtle in such a fix to be so fertile.
Ogden Nash

Slow and steady wins the race.
Aesop (620 BC - 560 BC)

Parrots, tortoises and redwoods live a longer life than men do; Men a longer life than dogs do; Dogs a longer life than love does.
Edna St. Vincent Millay


For, lo! the winter is past, the rain is over and gone; the flowers appear on the earth; the time of the singing of birds is come, and the voice of the turtle is heard in our land.
The Song of Solomon ii. 11, 12.

You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.
Dilbert

A well-known scientist (some say it was Bertrand Russell) once gave a public lecture on astronomy. He described how the earth orbits around the sun and how the sun, in turn, orbits around the center of a vast collection of stars called our galaxy. At the end of the lecture a little old lady at the back of the room got up and said: 'What you have told us is rubbish. The world is really a flat plate supported on the back of a giant tortoise.' The scientist gave a superior smile before replying, 'What is the turtle standing on?' 'You're very clever, young man, very clever,' said the little old lady. 'But it's turtles all the way down.'
Stephen William Hawking

Entry 141

Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven.
W.C. Fields

I was Christmas shopping and ran into a guy on the street. I noticed his watch and said that it runs slow. He said, "So does the guy I stole it from."
David Letterman


People can't concentrate properly on blowing other people to pieces if their minds are poisoned by thoughts suitable to the twenty-fifth of December.
Ogden Nash

The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

Jay Leno

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Entry 140

As for the pyramids, there is nothing to wonder at in them so much as the fact that so many men could be found degraded enough to spend their lives constructing a tomb for some ambitious booby, whom it would have been wiser and manlier to have drowned in the Nile, and then given his body to the dogs.

Henry David Thoreau

Brute force crushes many plants. Yet the plants rise again. The Pyramids will not last a moment compared with the daisy.
D.H. Lawrence

Men fear time, but all time fears the pyramids.
Unknown

Entry 139

The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.
Mark Twain

Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often.
Mark Twain

There are some that only employ words for the purpose of disguising their thoughts.
Voltaire

Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart.
William Wordsworth

Entry 138

The cliche is dead poetry.
Gerald Brenan

The computing field is always in need of new cliches.
Alan Perlis

Let's have some new cliches.
Samuel Goldwyn

Entry 137

DEDICATED TO ALL OF THE BIG, DUMB AND SMART ASSES THAT I'VE MET.

He that makes himself an ass must not take it ill if men ride him.
Thomas Fuller

Knowledge without wisdom is a load of books on the back of an ass.
Japanese proverb

Every ass loves to hear himself bray.
English proverb

At fifty a man can be an ass without being an optimist but not an optimist without being an ass.
Mark Twain

You gotta love livin', baby, 'cause dyin' is a pain in the ass.
Frank Sinatra

Entry 136

When the bee comes to your house, let her have beer; you may want to visit the bee's house some day.
Congo Proverb

Some primal termite knocked on wood;
and tasted it, and found it good.
That is why your Cousin May
fell through the parlor floor today.
Ogden Nash

If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in bed with a mosquito.
Betty Reese

We are closer to the ants than to butterflies. Very few people can endure much leisure.
Gerald Brenan

Entry 135

Canst thou prophesy, thou little tree,
What the glory of thy boughs shall be?
Lucy Larcom

No white nor red was ever seen
So am'rous as this lovely green.
Andrew Marvell

A tree is a tree - how many more do you need to look at?
Ronald Reagan

Trees are the earth's endless effort
to speak to the listening heaven.
Rabindranath Tagore

God is the experience of looking at a tree and saying, "Ah!"
Joseph Campbell

Acts of creation are ordinarily reserved for gods and poets.
To plant a pine, one need only own a shovel.
Aldo Leopold

Let my soul, a shining tree,
Silver branches lift towards thee,
Where on a hallowed winter's night
The clear-eyed angels may alight.
Siegfried Sassoon

Entry 134

Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.
Abraham Lincoln

We thought, because we had power, we had wisdom.
Stephen Vincent Benet

Justice without force is powerless; force without justice is tyrannical.
Blaise Pascal

THIS ONE IS DEDICATED TO THE American people AND THEIR SUBSERVIENCE TO President George W. Bush and his Minions:

One of the saddest lessons of history is this: If we've been bamboozled long enough, we tend to reject any evidence of the bamboozle. The bamboozle has captured us. Once you give a charlatan power over you, you almost never get it back.
Carl Sagan

When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace.
Jimi Hendrix

Only within the moment of time represented by the present century has one species -- man -- acquired significant power to alter the nature of his world.
Rachel Carson

HERE'S ANOTHER ONE DEDICATED TO George W. Bush--- The Decider and Long War President---and The Shooter--- Dick Cheney

I hope our wisdom will grow with our power, and teach us, that the less we use our power the greater it will be.
Thomas Jefferson

Entry 133

A man's character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation.

Mark Twain

Our wretched species is so made that those who walk on the well-trodden path always throw stones at those who are showing a new road.

Voltaire

Christianity is the most ridiculous, the most absurd, and bloody religion that has ever infected the world.

Voltaire

Entry 132

It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.
Nietzsche

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
Groucho Marx

My husband and I have never considered divorce... murder sometimes, but never divorce.
Joyce Brothers

After all these years, I see that I was mistaken about Eve in the beginning; it is better to live outside the Garden with her than inside it without her.
Mark Twain